A New Story
"Lord of My Life" disappeared from my life for over 40 years.
This is the storry of how it returned, and how it sparked the creation of this website.
In January 2024 I spent some time in my Pennsylvania hometown for my Dad’s memorial service. His house was empty now so I stayed there for about ten days. It was a moving experience, not because he died there, but because he lived there. It was a challenge to imagine anyone ever inhabiting that space as he had, but as executor of his estate, it was my duty to look around the place to get some idea of what had to be done before it would be ready for a new resident. There were the usual closets filled with clothing and personal possessions, another filled with mementos that my Mom had collected prior to her death five years earlier, and a closet just off the kitchen filled with coats, boots, cleaning supplies, and the usual things that we just can’t throw away but should. But in that last catch-all closet, one thing caught my eye that seemed out of place: a small cassette tape storage rack . It was on the top shelf and had apparently been there for a while since there were a number of things on top of it and I couldn’t really see what was in it. After carefully retrieving it from its long-time resting place, I found it was filled with cassette tapes I had sent my parents over the years after moving to California in 1988.
Most were recordings of events at my church in North Hollywood, Metropolitan Community Church in the Valley (MCCV), some were morning worship services, others were concerts or other special occasions. There was even a recording of me delivering the sermon at MCCV on one of the pastor’s vacation Sundays. I had sent all these tapes to my parents during my early years in California to assure them that I was going to church, making friends, and working at a job. In short, I wanted them to know I was happy and healthy – and not coming “home.” But then in the midst of all of those tapes, I saw an amazing find: two tapes with the name Lighthouse on them. Lighthouse was a mixed gospel quartet of which I was a member, along with three other voices, a piano player, and a briefcase full of recorded accompaniment tracks. In later years, we had two sound technicians who traveled with us. We called them our “roadies” although they were really the spouses of two of the vocalists. We had a big green and white Ford Clubwagon van that sat seven comfortably and still had room in the back for our substantial sound system. We sang on weekends at churches and at community events all around central PA from the late-1970s until the mid-1980s. When two members retired from the group, we reformed as a gospel trio called Jubal, but Jubal lasted only a few years as a result of my decision in 1988 to move to Los Angeles.
I was quite sure that music ministry would be my calling for the rest of my life, and in 1982 I quit my job at the local bank to concentrate on music. In early 1983, Lighthouse recorded our first album called “Joy in the Morning” and in the summer of 1983, we recorded a Christmas album called “Wise Men Still Seek Him.” And now here I was in 2024, standing in the kitchen of my parents’ house holding a copy of each of those albums — copies that had never been played — copies that were likely the last known to exist — copies that were over 40 years old. It was my last night in PA so I didn’t have time to play the tapes, not that it would have mattered, no one had a cassette player anymore! So I carefully packed the tapes in my suitcase and headed for home. When I finally had a chance to listen to them at home, I was struck by two things. First, how bad the cassettes sounded, and second, how different my personal theology was between 1983 and now.
Remember that skinny ribbon of brown tape inside of a cassette? Well it’s not very stable, prone to stretching or wrinkling, and can become brittle with age. So I played the Lighthouse tapes only a very few times, just long enough to know that their restoration was far more complicated than I could have done myself. I found Mike Konopka of Thunderstone Audio online (mikekonopka.com). Mike is an experienced and gifted audio engineer. He has mixed and remixed studio recordings for many famous artists and he specializes in acoustic design and audio restoration. Mike’s work on the Lighthouse cassette tapes was amazing! There are still a few flaws here and there that can’t be fixed, but overall the digitized version of these two tapes sound far better than they ever did when they were new. Thanks, Mike!
And yes, my personal theology has changed over these past 40 years, but I am equally proud of three things: the theology under which I was raised, the sometimes painful journey I took to get from there to here, and the new theology under which I live my life now. I love the things I learned at First Baptist Church in Milton PA, and I love the amazing opportunities I had at First Baptist to serve my God in SO many ways. From my first musical production of “Tell It Like It Is” in 1970, to directing the church choir for 15 years, to serving as Chair of all three of the church’s governing committees, to being elected Moderator, to serving on three pastoral search committees, to have been responsible for designing and leading almost every single worship service for nearly a year while we looked for a new pastor, and most importantly, to have dropped to my knees very late one night when, after a number of counseling sessions with the pastor, he laid his hands on my head and proclaimed what I already knew: God had a claim on my life and had unimaginable things in store for me. Being raised in my hometown Baptist church gave me a connection to God. It became the foundation for the rest of my life. The building I constructed atop that foundation looks very different from the foundation itself, but observe any building and you’ll see this truth: that which rises above is often very different from that which supports from below.
From deep in my heart, I offer this collection of songs to you, knowing that 40 years may have tarnished the sound but the message remains bright and shiny. Enjoy the warm memories these songs stir in your heart and give thanks for the bright light of God’s love that, like a Lighthouse, shows us the way to True Life. “If it wasn’t for the Lighthouse, where would this ship be.”